ALICIA'S PERSONAL STORY

October 21, 2020 Gastroparesis

Hello everyone! I am an 18 year old girl who has been throwing up my whole life. I have always had a bad relationship with food, but now it's worse than I could ever imagined. For a while I just thought i couldn't eat greasy or fried foods because i would be nauseous all of the time. When i was 16 I was diagnosed with a peptic ulcer in my stomach. So for the next few years, i was treated for the ulcer and not gastropareis because i was not aware of this problem just yet. When i started high school, that's when my throwing up issues got worse. I would throw up stomach acid all of the time or would just be gagging all day long. It has affected me in so many ways that make life unbearable. Fast forward a few years later, I started doing more research and finally decided i get tested for other diseases or conditions. Literally 2 days ago i was diagnosed with gastroparesis. The last year has been the worst when it comes to me throwing up. Today, i can't even eat one full meal a day. I find myself starving and hungry all day everyday, but my body refuses to let me eat. Yesterday i had one ensure protein shake and that was it, i ate nothing else the entire day. My stomach problems have made me hate food and hate living the way i do. I often find myself depressed and jealous of other people who are considered "normal". I cry myself to sleep sometimes because i am so hungry but just can't keep anything down. It has definitely made me mentally and physically unstable in ways i never thought were possible. I try to find foods i can eat that won't make me sick but it feels impossible. I don't want this to turn into an eating disorder but if i don't find a solution soon, i don't know what will happen. The doctor prescribed me acid reducer pills and they don't help. I find myself taking Zofran every single day to relieve some of the nausea. My doctor is now putting me on pills that are only available in canada. I just want to be able to eat at least 2 meals a day and not throw up. I started to hate my body and my stomach. I just want to be normal again. I am so sorry for anyone else who has to deal with this! 

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