just when i thought nothing worse would happen to me after losing my father and grandfather, there it strikes and took away every spark every bit of confidence i had!
i would never forget the day that brought all of this pain to my life. I was 16, going out for lunch with a bunch of friends, and suddenly I started to feel bloated, and couldn’t control it I thought it was just because of the cold weather, but no it lasted for weeks and then months of pain and shame, i locked myself in my room, i skipped school 2 to 3 days per week,but then i decided to visit a doctor, that’s when i was diagnosed with IBS instead of cutting off food that induced pain, i would turn to it as a shelter, as a friend, as a drug, and my IBS started to get worse and worse. I would cry myself to sleep at night, my friends turned their back on me, suddenly im there alone. I used this loneliness, this pain, this illness, to grow stronger, to conquer my fears, and to keep on hoping that this pain will someday leave. This loneliness made me rank the first in high school with a very high degree, this loneliness made me a strong girl that doesnt need anyone by her side, this pain made me realize that no one will help you get up except your will and your family. Now im a 21 years old senior girl, my IBS started to fade. How? i go to gym every day,i eat clean,that is no food that contain lactose or gluten,
i go for jogging next to the beach, i try to have quality time with myself, i saround myself with people with whom i feel relaxed and safe, and above all i try not to think about ibs.
it will take me a lot to build up my self confidence again, to feel pretty and beautiful, and to allow someone into my life, although im feeling safe in this loneliness, but i don’t want to get lost in it, at the end love is the only thing that can mend your broken heart and wash every sort of pain away.