ANONYMOUS’S PERSONAL STORY

My story is feeling like the end of my life is near. This stupid anxiety is horrible. It all started with being hurt with my back on a job and eating badly-pizza, carry-out, eating late at night; not exercising. Was taking Pepcid AC more frequently and chalking it up to just frequent heartburn. Then it came to a head when I was having a meal and I choked. Choked so badly that it felt like I cut my throat. My throat was raw and sore bc I vomited. Later that night, felt like something was caught in my throat and that feeling didn’t subside. Developed anxiety bc every time I ate, I felt I was going to choke. That fear killed my appetite along with the lump in my throat feeling and warm stomach feeling (w/o pain).
I have went from 201lbs to 171 in 8 weeks. This has been hell. The only thing that helped with my throat is taking Xanax; .5mg as needed. Never have I taken pills in my life except occasional Advil. Now I feel like a pharmacy. I have been to an ENT and had a throat scope. Said throat is inflamed and narrowing shown. My symptoms are concurrent with GERD. Recommend 6 weeks of Prilosec 40mg 2x daily. (Prior to that I was just taking 20mg for 6 weeks.)So now I am into almost the 3rd week of 40mg dosing.
It’s so frustrating because the ENT was so dismissive of my issues, saying yeah nature of the beast, yeah, yeah diet etc….Told him my diet is strict, I have lost weight and my acid is controlled. It is this chronic stomach warmth and just recently, with pain. It radiates and using a heating pad seems to be the only help. Some days I think I am better and then WHAM! either anxiety or stomach starts and I feel like nothing is getting better or never will.
It’s like after the 6 weeks then what? I still have to make myself eat cause have no appetite but I can’t keep losing weight. My wife is so worried about me and I hate that I am stressing her out because I get so anxious. I have never had these feelings before and it pisses me off to that I feel so emotionally out of control. Don’t want to keep medicating (Xanax) periodically but Dr sd if it helps… I just want to go back to myself but keep healthier eating for sure. I am afraid now of the side effects of going off Prilosec and Xanax. Will I be back to normal eventually? Seems there is no one to talk with that understands this. It’s isolating and frustrating. I am just tired.

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